exxy’s spot

i guess it is me. my purse got stolen last night. maybe there is something in my karma that makes me a magnet to thieves. maybe i have a flashing sign that blinks loser on my forehead. maybe i have a stupid scent they can detect among a group of people. thus far, my experience from them are as follows:

(in the last ten years)

great grandmother’s pendant robbed while walking from the college of  science to the college of  math in peyups… yup, inside campus, yup, in broad daylight. tried to run after the robber to tell him "hey, you can keep the necklace, just please return the pendant!”. but to no avail. after  three generations, it was lost.

wallet pickpocketed (is there such a term?) from me in a bus when i was still  commuting from UP to san jose del monte, bulacan. was preoccupied hugging my books didn’t notice my seatmate got my wallet already. yeah, back then i was the tomboy who would put her wallet at the backpocket of the jeans. i thought it would be safe. i was seating on it for goodness sake!

two week old 6210 that was my popsie’s bday gift.. i was in makati ave,at 6AM(!) waiting for a cab to go to rockwell for my ateneo entrance exam when a guy stood beside me and poked a knife to my rib, asking for my cellphone—funny in five seconds less i thought “bibigay ko ba o hindi? pag di ko binigay,itutuloy niya ang pagsaksak sa akin. makati ave ito, ang pinakamalapit na ospital makati med, sino magdadala sa kin? at mahal pa, tapos la pa si pops at moms dito, sino magaalaga sa kin? mag aalala pa sila tapos di pa ko makakaexam eh ito na ang pagkakataon kong makapaglaw dahil bagsak naman ako sa peyups LAE. at kadiri mahihimatay ako sa dugo if ever at ang taba ko baka di ako mabuhat ng magmamagandang loob…hhmmmm…” i gave it away.

solitaire diamond ring, a couple of watches, and other jewelry when our apartment in makati was robbed the day after we moved in. until now i did not tell moms about the ring. funny she gave it as a college grad gift and i never took it off except that day since mama lai and i went to baclaran. i was scared it might get stolen there (maybe with my chopped finger taken too blech!) so i left it at home.

my wallet in a bizaare way on the second week of the bar exams last year. i was holding it when i left LSAC to go to starbucks. i really didn’t notice when but it was gone before i ordered my drink. imagine, how can i think when i have no single cent to my name? (excuses, excuses mwe he he )

MY WHOLE PURSE just last night in good earth. okay okay i’m stupid i  left it on my seat when i went to the ladies room. but the people i was with were there at the table. all five of them. imagine. angaleng.

so. again. s#!+ happens. i really didn’t feel so bad except that the money i was saving to pay the diving instructor (yes! i did it! this was supposed to be happy entry of my first pool session but alas!) was in there. in cash. i was supposed to buy a nice mask yesterday so i withdrew the money from the ATM before going to scubaworld. so when i changed my mind, i thought i’d give it to him at the end of the night instead so i won’t spend the money on useless stuff over the weekend. argh. istupido. tonto gayud.

and the ateneo ID =,( the one that was not lost last year when my wallet was stolen coz it was in my study purse. the one that i painstakingly placed a sticker on every sem to fill up all eight squares in sequence. completed without losing it four years in law school. gone. and the numbers of my friends on my phone. especially those i seldom see and get in touch only through texts or calls. sigh. and the purse was a gift from one of my dearest friends. and oh. also lost my favorite chandelier earrings from nullah. that was a gift to myself when i got back to work and received my second first salary.

oh well, like my companions said, i should be grateful i was not harmed. yeah, that piercing feeling of cold steel on my rib was a traumatic experience. like all things, stuff lost can be replaced (ahem! ahem! Christmas wish list— nice and small make-up kit (will also accept cheek and lip tint, MAC concealer, and body shop lip balm to go with it mwe he he), ID/ATM/cardholder, two cell phones, earrings from nullah and my self esteem for being a careless, bimboish gurl. i wanna be angry but i just can’t believe it happened to me. again and again. theft/robbery victim extraordinaire. i just hope the person who took it used the money for feeding his/her family or pay the tuition of his/her son or for whatever benevolent cause. i hope it did not go to useless stuff.

in the meantime, i would rather count my blessings. thank God i

• have a job so i can earn the money and phones that i lost
• placed my house keys in my pocket so i was able to get in the apartment
• usually wear the nullah earrings when i’m out with friends and keep my south sea pearl earrings(which was given to me by a very special lady) in that purse
• tucked five hundred in my pocket for contribution to the bill
• have bingo’s friend bunny who lives in QC to take me home
• have an excuse to buy a cute lip gloss that i saw recently
• have an excuse to buy a nice small bag to console myself
• will not be bugged by a stalker texter mwe he he
• know my moms’ number so i was still able to tell my family what happened
• was not mugged, raped, and left for dead in a dark alley somewhere for measly 20K plus (imagine, my whole life would only be worth that much if ever…after everything my parents spent on me, it would be a total waste)
• have my twelve-year old rosary in my pocket and not in its usual spot in the pocket of the purse
• HAVE GREAT FRIENDS LIKE YOU TO KEEP ME HAPPY AND TO BELIEVE IN THE INNATE GOODNESS OF PEOPLE =)

CHEESY ENTRY ALERT!!!!

READ AND GAG AT YOUR OWN RISK.

DON’T SAY I DID NOT WARN YOU…

Time does not bring relief;
you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide

There are a hundred places where I fear
To go,—so with his memory they brim
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him! 

sonnet 02 by Edna St. Vincent Millay

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

one of my favorites. hay que bobo.

as if it is not enough, my other vincent millay favorite is just as pathetic:

Pity me not because the
light of day
At close of day no longer walks the sky;
Pity me not for beauties passed away
From field and thicket as the year goes by;
Pity me not the waning of the moon,
Nor that the ebbing tide goes out to sea,
Nor that a man’s desire is hushed so soon,
And you no longer look with love on me.
This have I known always: Love is no more
Than the wide blossom which the wind assails,
Than the great tide that treads the shifting shore,
Strewing fresh wreckage gathered in the gales:
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at ever turn.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

stupid stuff i learned along the way.

sorry,  my brain does not come with a warranty against malfunctions on this aspect.

sigh.

anyone, can you please loan me a brain that works on cheese attacks?

i promise to return it as soon as my brain returns to its logical functions.

argh.

i hate stupidity.